Oatly Department of Distraction Services | Oatly | the Original Oat Drink Company

Like seriously, anything. No really, it’s okay, Mr. John sent a telegram from his island hideaway saying he might look into possibly considering doing this-ish… Which is actually pretty accommodating for a mind control guru who only eats every third food item presented to him and is rumored to sleep in a barometric chamber made from long-winded headlines and coyote laughter — all of which probably makes him exquisitely qualified to answer your most perplexing questions. Besides, who else are you going to ask? Toni? That’s a good one.

“What's one random item you'd love to know the history & inventor of? Ex: Picture frame... or "TV Dinners" or paint brushes or ink... you get the idea.”

– Jenna L

“Furby.”

– John

“If you were a bird with a superpower what kind of bird would you be and what superpower would you have?”

– Hal

“In general, I am not a big fan of hypothetical questions, so I would be a normal bird that denied himself of any superpowers so he could remain a normal bird.”

– John

“What's the actual shape of the Earth?”

– Farah

“Is this a geometry question or are you trying to see if I am into conspiracy theories? If I were to add a random preposition to your question, for example “in”, then your question becomes both a philosophical and a scientific one to which I can answer—not very good but that I am optimistic that we can make it good again.”

– John

“Hey John, how are the wife and kids?”

– Jay Jay

“Finally a personal question. My feeling is that they are great, but in all fairness you would have to ask them which might be difficult in a forum called, Ask John.”

– John

“If i sellotape a pizza on my belly, can my skin absorb any nutrients?”

– Celie

“Of course. I thought everyone knew that.”

– John

“How can I foam oat barista milk”

– Jim

“Get a nice stream of hot air going and turn it on your Barista Edition oatmilk in a sufficient of dose. That should do it.”

– John

“I'm glad you've stopped selling Oatley. Let the oats live a longer prosperous life. You oat murderer you.”

– Skippybigballs

“Sometimes I fell like an English teacher in grammar school. There is no “e” in Oatly, Skippybigballs, now please correct and ask your question again.”

– John

“should i get another neck tattoo? i have one on the back of my neck and one on the side. i was thinking about getting one on the other side, or maybe something small across the front. Thank you Mr. John!!!! I believe in you!”

– Dan Safer

“If you want to, do it. If you are undecided, wait until you feel you can make a good decision. If you think it would look stupid, obviously don’t.”

– John

“Hello John, freshly baked marketing-guy here. How do I become a member of your marketingteam at Oatly?🤷🏼‍♂️🌾🍼”

– Henric

“We don’t have a marketing team because we don’t have a marketing department so I am afraid you are out of luck. When you are a freshly baked writer or artist or designer or photographer or director or troublemaker come back and ask me again.”

– John

“What's under David's hat?”

– Ed

“David.”

– John

“What makes you happy, John?”

– Soyboy Siepie

“The sun. I live in Sweden.”

– John

“When snow melts, where does the white go?”

– MIKE S

“Into your memory.”

– John

“What's the most important thing that's gonna happen to me this year?”

– A.

“I have no idea, but the least important thing that is going to happen to you is that you are going to ask a complete stranger a question and get a nonsensical answer.”

– John

“What’s your favourite book?”

– Julia

“The one I haven’t read yet.”

– John

“Is it possible to use some Oatly product in a cream siphon to quickly create whipped cream? When is rhubarb coming as a yogurt flavour? What could you do with lychee? How many tiers do the optimal weding cake have?”

– Mary

“I don’t know, you should try it. Probably never. Legally? However many tiers you feel you need.”

– John

“How would you launch a very naughty vodka brand with only $5000 to spend on advertising. Breaking all the rules of possible. One shot.”

– Jack H

“I would probably take the 5000 dollars and make sure that the vodka was so naughty that people understood how naughty it was after one shot.”

– John

“What is the one THING you can't live without?”

– Natalia

“Hope”

– John

“What’s your view on procrastination and efficiency? And if you need to be efficient, do you ‘eat the frog’ first thing in the morning or do you allow yourself to be distracted? Lastly, what’s your favorite ‘treat-yourself’ for when you’ve accomplished something you found hard? Have a nice day :)”

– Katja

“First of all, frogs don’t eat people, so why should I eat them? Without procrastination, how would you ever be able to measure efficiency? Distraction gives focus. By not working.”

– John

“Can I buy some stock please 😂”

– Matthew M

“As soon as there is stock available to buy, it would be cool if you bought some.”

– John

“Has a cake ever made you sad?”

– Joe E

“I am sensing that there may be some deep philosophical undertones to your question and as I am exploring the likelihood of that being true while writing this sentence I have come to the conclusion that there are no deep philosophical undertones to your question and so I will answer it by saying no.”

– John

“Do you feel guilty for making other brands look and sound extremely dull in comparison to Oatly? How do you sleep at night? P.S. LET ME KNOW IF YOU EVER NEED TO ADD MORE COPYWRITERS TO YOUR TEAM! Please. :)”

– Iva - Oatly's amazing next copywriter :))

“No, because I don’t really like brands or companies and don’t think we need them. Fantastic.”

– John

“Hi John! I have 2 unrelated questions... or maybe they can be... 1. Where do you find creativity when it seems elusive, overdone, and everything on social media looks the same? 2. What are you reading / listening to/ watching right now? Thanks so much for taking time to do this.”

– Jasminetartine

“Everywhere except for on social media. I am reading your question while listening to the sound of my washing machine spinning around in the next room.”

– John

“Hi John! Imagine - Oatly has a sister (or a brother) company and it produces plant-based milk from green buckwheats. What would be the name of the company?”

– Anda

“Oatly’s Sister”

– John

“Have you ever surfed in Newquay? What is the worst board you’ve ever surfed and what about the shape made it so bad? Have you or would ever consider trying to shape your own board? If not, why?”

– Jennifer

“1. Yes 2. The board I surfed in Newquay because it was a shit rental 3. No 4. Because there are so many great shapers right now”

– John

“Do you watch Rick and Morty? I bet you do. Who’s ya favorite character?”

– Sexy Beast

“Is sexy beast your real name?”

– John

“How are you? Read anything good lately? Thoughts on the phrase “cool beans”? What’s the powerhouse of the cell?”

– Anna

“I am fine, thank you very much.”

– John

“Why do I like this boy, now that we are thousands of kilometers apart? I told him before that I just want to be friends :(”

– Maraike

“Do you really just want to be friends or do you just want to be friends because you are inconveniently now thousands of kilometers apart? Would a reduction in proximity alter the degree of “friends” that you want to be? You don’t have to answer those questions right now, but perhaps the answer is already in your head.”

– John

“Why?”

– Daniel L

“Exactly! Why am I answering questions from people I don’t know? Why are you asking me questions when my ability to provide you with a decent answer is questionable? Why did humans ever come up with the concept of why? Why haven’t you asked me this question before?”

– John

“If you were an oat would you drink yourself?”

– Sarah

“Is this a trick question?”

– John

“Hey John, Do you think the Sasquatch is real? Best, Krista”

– Krista K

“Krista, What happens if the Sasquatch is not real? How would that make all the Sasquatch believers feel? Exactly.”

– John

“Dear Jhon, are regular cakes or cupcakes better?”

– Johanna

“Cup cakes because they have this nonchalant way of resembling a cup and I like a cup of coffee.”

– John

“Can you make an organic oatly.... please”

– Ashley

“I know this may come as a surprise, and my hope is that it will not in any way detour your interest in our products, but I don’t personally make the oat drinks myself. Take a second and exhale.”

– John

Ring-A-Ding Roulette

We have
a winner!

Thank you for
playing.

If you think about it, a chance encounter with some random acquaintance is probably one of the most distracting forces in the universe. (It’s true, I read a pie chart about it somewhere.) Anyway, we made this spinny thing for you to enjoy all the benefits of an accidental human connection, right on your phone. Just hit the button for a number, like 17, then scroll to the 17th person in your contact list and dial away. And if that’s not awkward enough for you, feel free to share your odd or cool or meh call in the Ring-A-Ding Call Wall below.

Ring-A-Ding Call Wall

“My ex boss 😄”

– Miia

“I called my best friend from high school who I haven't seen in 7 years. We talked about we miss Chick-fil-a and how we want to continue wearing pjs to work even after quarantine. It was sweet how we picked up right where we left off.”

– Heather

“He was actually the perfect person to call! One of my old childhood friends whom I haven't talked to in years. We kind of dated, kind of loved each other, and were prom dates. Aka there's a lot of confusing history there. He didn't answer, but yes, I left a message...and definitely mentioned this.”

– Steph

“I got no 1. It’s a guy I met 6 years ago in a crappy hostel I London, don’t remember why I have his no and I’m definitely not going to call him!”

– Lisa

“I got number 50. I am a sad person and only have 37 people in my contacts and therefore didn't call anyone (I am so relieved though!)”

– My little pony

“Oh wow! It was my friend Amy who is a nurse anesthetist in Pennsylvania. She is a former massage client of mine and we became good friends and were part of a book club. I had not spoken with her in quite some time. Thank you for the reconnection!”

– Tiffany M Leiter

“It’s an old take out place that I used to frequently rely on, once a week. They went out of business years ago. I really need to refresh my contacts list.”

– Kara

“My number was 41. I don't have 41 numbers on my phone. :(”

– Alex

“I couldn’t go through with it, it was my area manager and I only saw him yesterday, which is enough for 12 months!!!”

– Clare

“I am definitely not calling the real state agent that didn't get me the apartment I wanted.”

– Jaime

“No! I don't want to call to my classmate. I have never spoken with her so it would be so weird if I'd called to her..”

– Jenna

“Uhm, so no. 31 was my previous apartments maintenance guy who was always flirting with me even though he and his family lived in the same building. Better not open that door again.”

– Towe

“It was my cousin who I’ve been meaning to call for ages. She didn’t answer but she’ll definitely call me back, she’s better at keeping in touch than me! How fortuitous :)”

– Clare

“Got my 50th contact. Turns out my 50th contact is one of my dearest friends. Unfortunately they are dead so conversation was a little one sided.”

– Tom

“I got 47. My 47th contact was an ECT therapy facility - I feel like calling them would bother their actual work lol”

– Susanne

“Sadly the number I was given was to a one night stand who I later found out had been lying about his name and pretty much his whole life. I guess that’s reason enough not to call his particular number..”

– Uhmmm.. no

“I called the 12th number in my phone, quite nice conversation actually because it was someone i worked with a while ago and we chatted about our lives recently since we last spoke and made a deal to check up on each other more often to be nice and make sure that we are okay”

– Oda

“i rang a friend. 😁”

– leanna koski

“I called my grandparents. They Said happy name day to my baby.”

– sara karlsson

“I don't have 45 contacts. :(”

– John

“It was one of my college roommates! We text on a big chain a lot but I hadn't talked to her one on one in a while. She's a social worker and doing virtual sessions right now most likely so she didn't pick up, But I am excited to connect with her again soon.”

– Rachel

“It was my fiance. I called him from the livingroom when he was in the bathroom looking after our daughter who was having a bath. Was super romantic and our daughter thought it was a lot of fun. Totally gonna so it again! 💖”

– Aino

“Its my local Indian takeaway. They don't open til 5.30 but i will call later and order some food whilst I'm at it.. thanks oatly!”

– Marie

“I chickened out”

– Ali Sebaline

“It was my roommate that I see almost every day. I called her and told her about a package delivery that might occur today. That was it, no more, no less.”

– Lior

“It was an old coworker. That I haven't spoken to in more than 2 years. No way am I calling lol.”

– Anissa F

“It was my couple therapist, he moved away yesterday: no chance I am calling!! I'm ok btw”

– Albi

“It was my aunt. She was both happy and worried because I called, she thought something bad must have happened. Now I know the recipe for a traditional Mexican dessert! It was a win-win 💕🌈”

– Stephanie

“I can’t just call my old doctor’s office...or I could. But I won’t!”

– Amara

“It was my hairdresser and it’s also half 2 in the morning so imma leave it haha”

– Libby

“Umm it was a guy on Bumble that I may have stopped responding, not calling him and give him more mixed signals 🙊”

– V

“I landed on a name. And now I'm really scratching my head because I don't remember who this is! It's also a really beautiful name and I would be honored to be friends with this person... but gosh dang it who in the world is this?!”

– Bee

“I rang one of my best friends and he answered and asked what was going on and I cringed out and started asking him stuff about football and then he said he had to go! Lucky 😊”

– Élie

“Had a call with a friend. Suddenly we realized that we both just opened our last oatly barista edition. Universe I guess. #ODDS”

– Fabian

“It was my dad whom was in the kitchen while I’m in the dining room, I didn’t call him 🤣”

– Kai

“The irony of number 24 being my own contact. Am I doomed to loneliness and boredom?!”

– Anna H

“I got Direct Enquiries 🤷🏼‍♀️ That’s not an awkward reconnection... I sounded NUTS!”

– Hannah W

“It’s a girl I met 8 years ago on a school trip. We exchanged numbers and never talked afterwards. I don’t even know why she’s still in my contacts and I only remember her, because she wrote where we met in the notes section... Not calling her...”

– Sophie

“My fourth contact.. It just says "bear apartment" not calling that number lol”

– Must have been drunk

“Number 31 ended up being my company's tech help desk. I actually have an issue so I called... been on hold for 15 minutes.”

– Private

“No Idea what i am supposed to so here. I decided to Just Wave and smile.”

– Private

“I’m an introvert, I don’t have 46 contacts on my contact list. But to tell you the truth, even if I had, I wouldn’t have called. Because I’m an introvert.”

– Pauliina

“It would be my freaking ex-husband. No way in hell imma gonna call this POS ever again. 🦄”

– Ava

“I got my 26 contact, it happened to be my ex girlfriend. Not calling but send a text with just, 'hi'.”

– Neil

“It was the number for calling in sick to school😔 kinda sad....”

– Hedvig

“Number 47...An ex girlfriend i haven't spoke to for a long time hmmm maybe not”

– Paul

“My boyfriend. Well, i call and see him everyday. Not going to bother him when he's working.”

– Alicia

“it was my sister and she was in other room so she just came here and hit me with a pillow.”

– kAapeli

“I called up the company in montreal that mailed me some oatly, irate that they had sent me refidgerated product through regular mail. We looked at the ingredients and decided the shipment was okay. did I have space? they told me what to cook to make room in my fridge to fit all the oatly..! yikes”

– claire

“I call my self. Asked me if i have e Remembered shop oatly. And my answer was yes”

– Iris I

“I don’t have 50 contacts 😂”

– Lauren

“Can't phone my number as it's just an emergency on call number but it's nice to know that there's someone there if I need them, should say I'm a support worker to clear that up”

– Linda D

“I call my self. No body else”

– Wilhelmi

“It was my grandpas old phone number. He already passed away but I never deleted his number, it turns out the number has not been given to someone else so I decided to call my grandma instead. I told her the story. She laughed and we had a great conversation about grandpa.”

– Luise

“I rang my crush!!! It was not akward or sth, bc we phone every day and I h3lp her eith school stuff, so I just asked her when she wants to go on with her presentation today. We just smalltalked a little bit and now we'll skype in the early afternoon. That's it hahhahahah!”

– Valentina

“The first time I got my friend who’s right beside me. The next one was someone I won’t call even if someone threatened me with a gun.. 🤣😁”

– Jenny

“39th person in my call list was my sister in law. I rang and she asked what I had forgot to say as we spoke 10minutes before lol spoke with my nephew and had a nice brew.”

– Vicky C

“My 18th person on my contacts is my own home phone that hasn’t worked in years. Not much of a conversation”

– Sabina

“It's 50. There's no way I'm going to count to 50.”

– Philipp

“I call my daughter's boyfriend so they were no more serious call so I'm happy”

– Fredrika

“It was my boss with whom I’ve already spend 2h30 on Zoom today... pass 😂”

– Soiz

“I got my roommate, It was wierd but we had a good talk. It felt good getting and giving perspective on things. Turned out we relly needed to clear some air”

– Ollie

“It was my bestmates ex. Ye no chance”

– Bobby M

“It was my teacher, I didn’t call her because it’s 12 am atm here in the Netherlands.. Sooo I don’t things it’s okay to do that hahaha🤪”

– Marije

“IT was my crush and it’s 12pm so I chose to not call him”

– Sara

“I rang my girlfriend and moments later pure silence had she died had she collapsed no she went to make a brew using normal milk I screamed what are you doing oatly is better than Normal and better for you. So the moral of the story is use oatly”

– Sam S

How far have we slid as a society to turn the dining room table into an ad hoc pool table with scotch tape, a few empty ice-cream (actually, we can’t say ice-cream because technically, it’s not ice-cream so instead of ice-cream we will say non-dairy frozen dessert) cartons, a pink ping-pong ball and a broom handle? The answer to that question is that it doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you are currently enjoying what you are doing. That, and how far forward we will grow as a society when we don’t have to play homemade pool with a ping-pong ball on the dining room table anymore. That was a bit serious, which this post wasn’t intended to be but ended up being anyway — which is kind of like every post you read from us. The more you try to control how they turn out, the less successful they become. Wasn’t it Aristotle who said that?

A haiku for Jannick

A haiku for Tessa

A haiku for Constanza

A haiku for Sorel

A haiku for Ingrid

A haiku for Andy

A haiku for Valerie

A haiku for Colleen

A haiku for Kelsey

A haiku for Stephen

A haiku for Martina

A haiku for Elisabeth

A haiku for Norah

A haiku for Michael

A haiku for Tizia

A haiku for Mårten

A haiku for Elissa

A haiku for Verena

A haiku for Raquel

A haiku for Arne

A haiku for Noreiuska

A haiku for Michael

A haiku for Janice

A haiku for Laura

A haiku for Farah

A haiku for Jessie, Lyn, Rickard & Jenny

A haiku for Jani

A haiku for jonathan

A haiku for Jessie

A haiku for Katherine

A haiku for Ellie

A haiku for Nadja

Here’s an idea. Take that desk at home that you have been trying your best to work at the past few weeks and clean it off. No, totally. Remove your laptop, keyboard, mouse, any external monitors, headphones, battery chargers and just push them into a corner or maybe straight off the side of your desk right onto the floor because no one is around to see. Now the fun part. Find some soon-to-be-recycled oat drink cartons, an X-Acto blade, a glue gun, some tape, a couple wood clamps, some random string and start crafting. You could probably make all kinds of things with the above, but since this post was smart and got you to clear your desk first, a makeshift ping pong table might be a pretty okay idea. At least that’s what I spent yesterday doing from the solitude of my own home and now that I have told you, please don’t tell Toni, our CEO, because he still thinks that I was working on a presentation for Q3 that was taking some extra time. I’ll get the preso done, don’t worry, but not until my forehand smash improves a bit more.

Dream Gallery

“I was sitting with my flatmates in the livingroom and instead of oir faces we all had animal heads!”

– Anna

“I had a dream I dropped a book I was reading in the ocean (specifically "You Are A Badass" - highly recommend) and couldn't manage to pick it back up as hard as I tried. Then the tide took it, and when the tide came back in, the ocean was FULL of books. I mean...completely full of them. All of the pages in the books were still perfectly in tact with no water damage. Moral of the dream: We gain more knowledge by the sea?”

– Emma

“I am in the desert (like in Joshua Tree) with Christopher Walken and his coyote. Christopher offers me cheetos.”

– Tove Eriksen Hillblom

“I had a dream, where I was a seahorse sitting on my moped. Riding on the street, with a brown leather hat on my head. My moped was blue and I smiled the hole time.”

– Nico F

“I’m running between 2 long rows of dense trees away from a t-Rex”

– Ash

“I had a dream that I was an egg in a bowl of ramen. It was nice and relaxing - a good distraction from the pandemic.”

– Naomi Bortnik

“There's a young 1950s woman with white hair sadly doing dishes, but all around her, there are goldfish in floating water clumps (think water in space). They appear to be coming out of the faucet of the sink. She does not notice the fish, but they completely surround her.”

– Ana E

“I keep having a recurring dream that Noel Gallagher is my landlord and he threatens to evict me because I took down the Oasis poster in the living room. I don't even like Oasis.”

– Barrie

“Last night I dreamed, that I bought a house and moved in with a nice guy I didn’t know before. In our living room, there was a sailboat, and if we wanted to get into the kitchen, we had to sail. Yeah. That’s it.”

– Nina

“I’m trying to climb a mountain, but I can’t no matter how hard I try because 1. My crazy curly hair is in my face and I can’t see, 2. My shoes have huge platforms and I can’t get a good footing and 3. There is a peacock flying (yes, flying) over me making loud noises that are very distracting... it’s a real struggle🤷‍♀️”

– Sarah Harper

“I’m living in a iKaffe box and riding a snail to work. I work as a baker making tiny tiny tiny croissants for the homeless. There is a rain bow in my back yard. My garden is a little sad and I have gummie bears for dinner.”

– Malena

“I dreamt I was in a fist fight with a pancake. The pancake was about to win but I took a bite out of him and that shook him up quite a bit”

– Kess

“Ok, my all time favorite is the one where I fly. I just take off and fly across the village. It’s like swimming. I go up high and really low, and I love every second of it. Just the feeling of freedom is the best part of all.”

– Deborah

“I went to a bar where the chairs were so big I had to climb them. Like in “Nils Karlsson pyssling”. Then I found a weird button on the bar that I (obviously) pushed”

– Saga Wiberg

“Hi Lisa! I dreamt an hot air balloon flying, but instead of the balloon there was a brain? Stay safe!”

– Federica

“I have a giant afro as I walk through my school gym (for reference I am a petite Asian woman). Around me, everyone is wearing seventies clothes and afros. A male friend who I don't recognize picks me up in a hug.”

– Ubbi Gee

“I‘m living in 1870(ish) America. I‘m working in a shop that sells candy and my boyfriend is a hardworking cowboy with long dark hair and two green guns. We decide to set up a farm for blue bunnies and one yellow horse.”

– Sarah

“I had a closet that finds the perfect matching outfit. But I didn't agree so I kept pushing the shuffle button all dream long.”

– Josse

“I had a dream where a posh woman was wearing a living turtle as a hat and I was staring and she got angry. According to her it was a normal thing to put on your head!”

– Veerle Middernacht

“Giant Killer bees chasing me and I’m hiding in a pond with a straw to breath under water”

– Lisa

“Hey Lisa, I had a dream which I was up in a big tree and couldn't get down. There was people staring at me talking like: why would you go over there if you cant come down??”

– Isabella Colli

“I am on the beach, there are crowds around. I want to get an ice cream from the ice cream store so I sit down on my inflatable unicorn and drive in the store. Everyone is jealous”

– Anka

“This is the absolute most weirdest dream I’ve ever had! Please bare with me. This dream only lasted for a minute or two. I dreamed of an all yellow background, and then what felt like a camera (my dream vision?) panned downwards to a pair of legs open in front of the yellow background (no torso attached, all legs). In between the legs was a bag of milk, then an arm reached out to grab the bag of milk. End of dream. I’ve never woke up so confused, yet, poetically? Cinematically? Artistically? Touched? Seriously, it looked like something out of a music video by The1975.”

– Genesis Garcia

“I was floating in space all alone when my dog (olive, part beagle part corgi) zooms past me on a much smaller ISS and rescues me. Does this mean I’ll be an astronaut one day and I’m in charge of saving the world, all alone in space with my dog?”

– Hanna Kortis

“I had a dream I was in Switzerland hanging out with cows in the alps. I had a trip scheduled to go there next month but it's probably cancelled, so that sounds so lovely right now.”

– Hunter

“I once had a dream I was lying on a sea of peeled, boiled eggs. A vast ocean as far as the eye could see if every direction. Every time I moved, I sank a little further. And that was that, the whole dream. Make if that what you will.”

– Daniel Higginson

“i had a dream, i was a sea star, lying on the bottom of the ocean, and i saw a big whale approaching. he (a feel like it was a he), was wearing a captain hat and had a tote bag. he picked me up and put me in a bag, that turned out to be full of of other sea stars and various sea stuff. that was really cool.”

– Alex

“I'm on a deserted island on my own. Running away from a gigantic Cadbury's cream egg bar (the ones that look like worms). I get to the beach and run to the water and realise the cream egg bar doesn't like water. Then I wake up 😂”

– Jess

“It was winter 2011 and I built a snowman and every night they came alive and wanted to kill me with their laser-eyes and there knife-noses. Every night I was chased by them but in the morning I woke up in my bed safe!”

– Marie P.M.

“Hey Lisa! I’ve had this dream a few times where I’m carrying my cat around on my shoulder like a parrot (shes black and white and her nose has a black heart on it!) and she just meows at everyone as I walk by. No one seems to notice in the dream either or they’re not bothered by it. So strange!?”

– Allie Corriveau

“I had a dream where I was in a kid's room. There was a slanting window in the roof. Underneath was a desk with an old typewriter. In the floor was a big hole and I was sitting (as a kid) dangling my legs looking down into the hole that revealed 4 different fantasy worlds, like a map. One was darker with monsters and another was more jungle and so forth. That would be so cool to see as a drawing because I can't describe it with words to make it justice how cool it was. I'm a writer and did so when I was a kid too so I guess the hole in the floor showing the different worlds is representing my imagination and where I get my ideas from.”

– Malin

“I’m swimming in the Middle of the ocean and all of a sudden I look down and I see a full aquarium beneath me - the water is clear and I see whales, fish, dolphins, sharks, everything! Really cool dream and would love to see it in a drawing. My IG handle is @nicholrusso if you want to post it or draw me into the dream!!”

– Nicole Russo

“There was a fire starting in my living room COUCH but I couldn’t physically get out of bed to easily put it out with water so I just stared at my House lighting on fire while I panicked without moving one finger.”

– Sara

“I was in high spirits ... can’t quite remember the rest”

– Jenny

“I worked at a florist's, where beautiful murders were committed, and the victims were always dressed in Hugo Boss. My colleague Marriette also worked there. Her job was to mourn the dead, put loads of make up on and cry. She could cope with two a day.”

– Alex Picha

“I was in a room surrounded by people with super super long toenails and fingernails that were fighting each other using their nails as weapons. Then they starting trying to attack me”

– Elliott

“Love this idea.. good move Oatly!! Not a wild one, but I've just shot bolt out of bed because I spent the entire night dreaming about my Tupperware drawer, and no matter how much I sorted it THERE WAS JUST MORE TUPPERWARE, i can confirm the drawer is now sorted irl but it was SO frustrating”

– Lisa H

“I had a dream that I was standing in my cousin’s garden, looking into the sky, when I saw two pandas flying away in a helicopter..”

– Jikke

“I’m in a square white room surrounded by acid smiley faces on the walls with a. Easel in the center. I’m stood bewildered in front of the easel with a brush and a ruler in each hand with absolutely nothing on the canvas”

– Darren

“Scorpions became really high population in U.K., found everywhere and all over houses and in beds. Also missed my rugby game.”

– Ash

“Me sitting in a field of Poppys all alone, crying und holding my own Hand.”

– Jenny

“I dreamt that I was a sexy ice cube. I was floating in cold brew coffee. It was summer and the sun was especially strong. I felt myself melting but felt OK about it. The sun felt nice on my body.”

– jiyoon

“During the the first week of lockdown in new Zealand I had a dream about one at the same hostel as me. I was dreaming that he was wearing a superman costume and had a sword that he was counting rocks with.”

– Nina M

“I noticed that I have a second row of teeth starting to grow (kinda like sharks have) and was all confused.”

– Kati

“So i had this dream, that a wolf (favorite animal) was hanging out in a gym with me and i was helping him do his benchpress. it was the funniest shit i dreamt of espacially cause he was joking about my buzzcut and that i had no hair”

– Ryan

“A designer at my work made a birthday cake for my friend who doesn’t exist and I was using the cake as a pillow. I fell asleep and when I woke up the cake was squished. I think it looked better squished anyway, it was too perfect before.”

– Lara W

“My Dad has a recurring dream that he got pushed off a cruise ship in Italy and a pack of Dolphins wearing party hats swam up to him. He thought they were coming to rescue him, but as they got closer he saw that they were dolphins with permanent frowns and they where coming to beat him up.”

– Kirsten

“My baby brother Bill age 2 was on fire and went home to Mormor and Morfar so their house went into flames as well. After when the fire was extinguished with lots of water and a hose Bill was happy but too hot to touch. /John age 4”

– John A

“I was helping a friend moving out, and he had giant cookies to carrie. Suddenly his other friends that were helping got naked and started dancing. It was an awesome atmosphere”

– Kira

“I'm riding my bike but my bike is very very tall 😁 and I'm above all the people. I'm in the clouds”

– It's a CYN

“Everyone seems to have very awesome and weird dreams. I only seem to dream "non-dreams" like colour-separating my kids socks after doing the laundry. But hey - maybe that really qualifies as an out-of-the-box dream?!”

– Lisa Granberg

“Me and my teenage-boyfriend are in a house that's about to fall down. He is a taekwondo-guy, kicker/NFG-type. The house falls down but he protects me by holding the roof up and I hide under him. It's so stupid. Guess I miss being a kid that could feel safe by just hanging with a cool big guy.”

– Hedvig

“I was at home, feeding a parrot some dried chilli peppers. The parrot was singing “and it burns, burns, burns... the ring of fire!” That’s all I remember. I don’t even have a parrot.”

– Claire Smeaton

“In my dream, the goalie for my football club Chelsea is a Giacometti figure during a penalty shoot-out against Tottenham at Wembley in London. How the heck is that Giacometti figure meant to save any penalties. It's so skinny. Horrible dream.”

– Jonas Frank

“I had a terrible nightmare that went something like this: I'm cleaning the bathroom at home, but wherever I clean, the dirty footprints of my girlfriends Birkenstocks keep appearing! They're everywhere! They're coming closer, faster, bigger, DIRTIER! There is no escape...”

– Eirik Myrvold

“I was swimming in the ocean. Out of the blue a giant white shark came from the left to attack me. All of a sudden I hurt the shark really bad. I carried him out of the water to a small lagoon. I called the animal ambulance and they picked him up. I was super scared, but I did not want him to die.”

– Gesa

“I (a boy) was alone in my backyard looking west to the sky at the Moon. Then suddenly the Moon started to melt and became red and had lava like textures. Then I heard someone shout my name behind me. When I turned around I woke up. It happend to fast I couldn’t see him/her.”

– Eli

With an empty carton and a hobby knife, you can turn persistent boredom into a new career as an undiscovered artist person. And as discarded cartons full of words and graphics and colors and that annoying plastic cap are reimagined into a platform for cultural advancement, time will feel like it stands still. Hopefully.

Bows are like flowers in that they are highly decorative and appreciated by almost everyone except for those who don’t actually appreciate them, which doesn’t really matter unless you care about what other people think and as a bow maker, that’s probably not a good habit to have.

Not just any earring, the Wow Shake Me! earring, custom cut by yourself of course, places no demands whatsoever on the amount of ear time it gets. Actually, it’s probably totally content with adding a little bling to your corner cactus, which is cool you know. Nobody should judge an earring.

Sometimes the future needs to know that you are totally into its brand, which you can be by cherry-picking some copy and barcodes off empty cartons then treating them to a combo of your glue gun and a safety pin before getting the styling right for your anti-influencer shot.

If you’re having trouble sleeping in these troubled times, don’t worry, Mike is here to help. He has broken out the 2018 Sustainability Report and turned it into a multi-chapter good night bedtime story that will put you to sleep in no time. And if you have kids, it will work even better. We understand that you might think that Mike does not have what it takes to knock you out, which is why we asked Mike what he thinks about your potential disbelief: “Dude, I actually fell asleep recording them.”

When we are finished with all this home time we will most likely emerge with a new set of skills. Like how to convert boredom into a detox retreat from our stressful lives. Or how to form a deeper social relationship with our home robots. After all, it has always been easy to think of machines as merely machines, designed to remove our most tedious and boring tasks so that we can get on with our stressful lives. Perhaps, as we attempt to detox, we could consider giving them more meaningful tasks, such as opening the freezer door, removing a carton of non-dairy frozen dessert, popping the top and adding a spoon, all while speeding it over to us on those cute little electric wheels. How would that be for unforeseen human advancement?