So, you don’t consider porridge-making a sport? Okay, maybe watch this 3 episode porridge survival guide made for your distraction enjoyment by the two-time winner of the Swedish Championship of Porridge Making, Saga Rickmer, and then let us know the exact second you realized you were wrong.
A chocolate birthday cake porridge with sparkles and a disco ball. Any questions?
There are survival life hacks for everything in the universe these days. Lack-of-oats-when-you’re-about-to-make-porridge situations included. Thanks Saga.
Video: Saga Rickmer (@sagarickmer) & Alina Hedenström (@lifebyalina)
Music: Kalle Lindeman (@kallelindeman)
It’s another day at home and Oatly still doesn’t have an e-commerce site up so that you can buy a full collection of Oat Propaganda T-shirts. Damn! But wait, now you can download four limited edition print-at-home QuaranTee designs. Mood swings north.
There is always someone on the internet who has come up with a crack and made a tutorial for everything, even the lack of fancy iron-on transfer paper. So you start there with a Google search and learn the key is a t-shirt, a laser printer, a roll of plastic wrap and a sheet of wax paper. Boom-shaka-laka.
Print your design on the laser printer, wrap it in plastic wrap, place on t-shirt, cover with wax paper and start to iron without hitting the steam button because then this idea is going to be an epic fail.
Keep ironing because ironing is a totally underrated form of meditation.
Remove the wax paper and admire your QuaranTee statement tee. Remember that even if it doesn’t look 100% professional or adhere to international quality standards — you made it yourself.
Hang for admiring the soothing, rehabilitative quality of a decent distraction.
The phone you are currently reading this sentence on probably provides a pretty steady trickle of daily distraction, but Sweet Pete (aka, Peter, our production manager) knows a phone becomes epically distracting the moment it rings. So with some inspiration provided by as many of y'all as Sweet Pete could oblige, he has composed the following downloadable collection of honky tonk realness that only a pro with a steel guitar and the soul of a country star could bring. Enjoy!
In case there is any confusion, this is not a visual how-to guide for building a birdhouse, it’s a visual how-to guide for building a bird feeder. Yes, there is a difference. This is the one that says, “Hey birds, I’m extending a friendly invitation to drop in for a snack whenever it might fit your schedule, but I don’t really have the bandwidth to be a bird landlord right now, so grab a bite and move along, if you don't mind.”
Don’t you love it when a 20 second distraction film comes pre-loaded with its own how-to guide for stretching that distraction satisfaction even further? If that’s not synergy, I don’t know what is.
Hey everyone, thanks for your questions, but this morning a sulphur crested cockatoo flew into my bedroom, gave me the stink-eye and bit my finger before flying off. Which, of course, means our Q&A session with Mr. John is now over… Perhaps he went deep into training for jigsaw puzzle season or is now trying to reverse the El Niño oscillation he reversed the year before. Anyway, it’s probably best not to dwell and just appreciate whatever it was we had with him, below.
If you think about it, a chance encounter with some random acquaintance is probably one of the most distracting forces in the universe. (It’s true, I read a pie chart about it somewhere.) Anyway, we made this spinny thing for you to enjoy all the benefits of an accidental human connection, right on your phone. Just hit the button for a number, like 17, then scroll to the 17th person in your contact list and dial away. And if that’s not awkward enough for you, feel free to share your odd or cool or meh call in the Ring-A-Ding Call Wall below.
Ring-A-Ding Call Wall
How far have we slid as a society to turn the dining room table into an ad hoc pool table with scotch tape, a few empty ice-cream (actually, we can’t say ice-cream because technically, it’s not ice-cream so instead of ice-cream we will say non-dairy frozen dessert) cartons, a pink ping-pong ball and a broom handle? The answer to that question is that it doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you are currently enjoying what you are doing. That, and how far forward we will grow as a society when we don’t have to play homemade pool with a ping-pong ball on the dining room table anymore. That was a bit serious, which this post wasn’t intended to be but ended up being anyway — which is kind of like every post you read from us. The more you try to control how they turn out, the less successful they become. Wasn’t it Aristotle who said that?
So in case you were wondering, yeah, our distractions work great on pets too… Sort of.
Have you ever had the opportunity to color real action scenes from the life of a global oat drink CEO while at the same time learning a thing or two about what makes Toni so, well…Toni? Neither have we. These print-at-home downloadable coloring sheets can keep kids busy for upwards of a few minutes which is basically days in our previous lives.
Here’s an idea. Take that desk at home that you have been trying your best to work at the past few weeks and clean it off. No, totally. Remove your laptop, keyboard, mouse, any external monitors, headphones, battery chargers and just push them into a corner or maybe straight off the side of your desk right onto the floor because no one is around to see. Now the fun part. Find some soon-to-be-recycled oat drink cartons, an X-Acto blade, a glue gun, some tape, a couple wood clamps, some random string and start crafting. You could probably make all kinds of things with the above, but since this post was smart and got you to clear your desk first, a makeshift ping pong table might be a pretty okay idea. At least that’s what I spent yesterday doing from the solitude of my own home and now that I have told you, please don’t tell Toni, our CEO, because he still thinks that I was working on a presentation for Q3 that was taking some extra time. I’ll get the preso done, don’t worry, but not until my forehand smash improves a bit more.
With an empty carton and a hobby knife, you can turn persistent boredom into a new career as an undiscovered artist person. And as discarded cartons full of words and graphics and colors and that annoying plastic cap are reimagined into a platform for cultural advancement, time will feel like it stands still. Hopefully.
Bows are like flowers in that they are highly decorative and appreciated by almost everyone except for those who don’t actually appreciate them, which doesn’t really matter unless you care about what other people think and as a bow maker, that’s probably not a good habit to have.
Not just any earring, the Wow Shake Me! earring, custom cut by yourself of course, places no demands whatsoever on the amount of ear time it gets. Actually, it’s probably totally content with adding a little bling to your corner cactus, which is cool you know. Nobody should judge an earring.
Sometimes the future needs to know that you are totally into its brand, which you can be by cherry-picking some copy and barcodes off empty cartons then treating them to a combo of your glue gun and a safety pin before getting the styling right for your anti-influencer shot.
If you’re having trouble sleeping in these troubled times, don’t worry, Mike is here to help. He has broken out the 2018 Sustainability Report and turned it into a multi-chapter good night bedtime story that will put you to sleep in no time. And if you have kids, it will work even better. We understand that you might think that Mike does not have what it takes to knock you out, which is why we asked Mike what he thinks about your potential disbelief: “Dude, I actually fell asleep recording them.”
Don’t worry, we designed this pack puppet tutorial for great puppet makers and not-so-great puppet makers and puppet makers who think they are great, but are really not-so-great and vice versa. So you really can’t go wrong here, unless you’re not into puppets whatsoever, which, now that you mention it, is something we never thought to consider… Oh well, do it for the kids?
When we are finished with all this home time we will most likely emerge with a new set of skills. Like how to convert boredom into a detox retreat from our stressful lives. Or how to form a deeper social relationship with our home robots. After all, it has always been easy to think of machines as merely machines, designed to remove our most tedious and boring tasks so that we can get on with our stressful lives. Perhaps, as we attempt to detox, we could consider giving them more meaningful tasks, such as opening the freezer door, removing a carton of non-dairy frozen dessert, popping the top and adding a spoon, all while speeding it over to us on those cute little electric wheels. How would that be for unforeseen human advancement?
1. This one’s pretty coolOatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
2. So is this oneOatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
3. Into techno? You can’t go wrong with this.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
4. Jingle Guy says you gotta be in the right mood for this one. He’s so right.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
5. My all-time favorite.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
6. Seriously, this one will blow your mind.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
7. My new all-time favorite.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
8. If you are new to jingles, this is a great place to start.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
9. Get your headphones out for this one and thank me later. Just sayin’.Oatly Jingle Sessions Vol. 1
Oatly-fy! your video call
Video call backgrounds are so hot right now… I mean, who wants to go through quarterly figures alone from some home office, when you can do it with a fine gentleman holding ice cream riding shotgun? Or how about singing happy birthday to your niece in front of an oat drink ad in NYC? These downloadable backgrounds do all of that for you, and work with most platforms, like Zoom, that allow for them.
The cool thing about you landing here is that you can now put away your Uno cards and Jenga blocks because the idea of a nacho boat has entered your life. With just a few cuts and folds, no adventure on the high seas will ever separate you from your spicy treat again.