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Infrequently Asked Questions Concerning Oatmilk

Hi there, and welcome to the world's hugest and only compendium of Infrequently Asked Questions about oatmilk. From the rarely asked to the seldom wondered-about, this site has all manner of inquiries for the oat-curious, eco-minded or just plain bored. So consider this the only resource you need for answers to questions you've probably never had about the original oat drink.

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IFAQ Question "Do I need a permit to carry oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I need a permit to carry oatmilk?"

Standing in line, filling out forms, applying for approval, that all seems like a lot of trouble and since oatmilk is the opposite of that, no permit required.

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IFAQ Question "Is oatmilk only for indoors or can I use it outside too?"
iFAQ illustration "Is oatmilk only for indoors or can I use it outside too?"

It might sound counterintuitive, but oatmilk can be used basically anytime and anywhere. Except maybe pools. Probably keep it out of pools.

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IFAQ Question "Does oatmilk come with assembly instructions?"
iFAQ illustration "Does oatmilk come with assembly instructions?"

It does not but don’t let that deter you. Most people consider oatmilk to be self-explanatory. If you run into trouble you can always text a friend. 

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IFAQ Question "Do I need a special fridge to fit oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I need a special fridge to fit oatmilk?"

That would clearly mean quite a bit of bother, expense and inconvenience and so we’d have to say please do not.

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IFAQ Question "Are any oats harmed in the making of oatmilk?"
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We can’t speak directly for oats, but since they don’t have mouths or brains and can’t feel pain, we will anyway: “No”. 

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Enjoying these real answers to fake questions but would like some random answers to real questions? Random Answers
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IFAQ Question "Do I have to feed oatmilk anything to take care of it?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I have to feed oatmilk anything to take care of it?"

Oatmilk is actually zero maintenance in the care department, very much unlike the White Tufted Marmoset, Australian Shepherd or making cow milk.

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IFAQ Question "Do I need to practice or prepare for oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I need to practice or prepare for oatmilk?"

Practice? Like how? It doesn’t matter–no, you don’t need to practice for oatmilk, it literally requires nothing of you beyond knowing it exists and in general is better for the climate than cow milk.

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IFAQ Question "What kind of cows does oatmilk come from?"
iFAQ illustration "What kind of cows does oatmilk come from?"

No kind of cow actually. Or maybe it's none cows? Regardless, oatmilk in fact comes from oats instead of cows which is the thing that makes it oatmilk and not cow milk.

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"What if I have a way better Infrequently Asked Question?" Cool, tell us here.
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IFAQ Question "Will people still like me if they see me with oatmilk?"
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Many people yes! Some people no! And a bunch of people might not know what to think about you, which is totally fine because who cares.

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IFAQ Question "Do I need a different mouth to drink oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I need a different mouth to drink oatmilk?"

Surprisingly no. Whatever mouth you’re currently using will work very well with oatmilk, especially if it’s your own mouth and not someone or something else’s.

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If you’re a carbon offsets person, you might like to know that in general, oatmilk has a lower climate impact than cow milk, which could mean less offsetting for you to do, should you be offset-inclined.
IFAQ Question "Is oatmilk okay for pockets?"
iFAQ illustration "Is oatmilk okay for pockets?"

Are you okay with oatmilk pockets is really the question here. Loose oatmilk in any pocket will defnitely result in oatmilk pockets, which is quite different from oatmilk still in its little carton being okay for pockets, since that comes with its own assortment of pocket fitment issues.

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IFAQ Question "If oatmilk really helps the planet, can I just pour it directly into the earth?"
iFAQ illustration "If oatmilk really helps the planet, can I just pour it directly into the earth?"

Hey, there’s nothing stopping you, except logic and reason and common sense and maybe a friend who understands how sustainability works.

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We have this vision--or mission or goal or manifestation in the making or whatever you want to call it--of a food system that's better for people and the planet. Part of that vision is helping transform the food industry to face humanity’s greatest challenges like climate change and the environment. We'd also like to find all the missing single socks in the world, but that's more of a long-term goal.
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IFAQ Question "Can I get an electric vehicle tax credit for buying oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Can I get an electric vehicle tax credit for buying oatmilk?"

We don’t want so say no and we don't want to say yes, but unless you can figure out a way to drive oatmilk, we're going with no.

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IFAQ Question "Is oatmilk affected by full moons?"
iFAQ illustration "Is oatmilk affected by full moons?"

A fair ask and while we stall in answering it, you may be interested in this awkward segue: on average, oatmilk has a lower climate impact than cow milk, and conceivably, possibly, is less affected by full moons, if it at all.

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IFAQ Question "Is oatmilk just goat milk without the G?"
iFAQ illustration "Is oatmilk just goat milk without the G?"

This is a question that puzzles nearly two Americans every year so on behalf of goats nationwide as well as oatmilks globally, oatmilk is just oatmilk without any goats whatsoever, if that clears things up.

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IFAQ Question "Will cows be angry or vengeful if I start using oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Will cows be angry or vengeful if I start using oatmilk?"

We’ve done literally no research on this whatsoever but feel confident in saying that cows really won’t know the difference.

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IFAQ Question "How much do I have to learn about oatmilk to try it?"
iFAQ illustration "How much do I have to learn about oatmilk to try it?"

Learning, ugh. Oatmilk doesn’t require any intellectual heavy lifting, so you can remain as oblivious to it as you like.

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If facts & knowledge are your thing, open your mindhole to this: in general, oatmilk is better for the climate compared to cow milk, yet most people think oatmilk's taste & versatility match dairy’s. True story.
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IFAQ Question "Can I use the same bowl to eat cereal with oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Can I use the same bowl to eat cereal with oatmilk?"

Yes, in fact we encourage maintaining the same bowl routine you use now to minimize the risk of even infinitesimal changes to your lifestyle.

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IFAQ Question "Does trying oatmilk require me to change all my political views?"
iFAQ illustration "Does trying oatmilk require me to change all my political views?"

That just seems like a big pain and therefore we’d have to say no. Unless your political views are awful, then maybe.

Downer Alert: whether or not the planet and all of us survive the climate crisis isn’t really a political view. It’s more of a help-save-all-our-butts-by-changing-what-we-eat-&-drink view.
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IFAQ Question "Does it take any special skills to pour oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Does it take any special skills to pour oatmilk?"

None outside your existing milk-pouring skillset. If you’ve poured regular milk, consider yourself a highly trained individual.

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Do you know someone with: (a) questions about oatmilk (b) far too much time on their hands and a penchant for distraction? Perfect. Click here to share this page with that curious & willing someone. Or don't. Sometimes that can be awkward. Your call though.
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IFAQ Question "Do I have to get solar panels for my home so oatmilk will work?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I have to get solar panels for my home so oatmilk will work?"

Definitely not have to. Maybe might want to? Either way, oatmilk is non-judgmental when it comes to choice of electricity sourcing.

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IFAQ Question "Does drinking oatmilk change the sound of your voice?"" Short Version: Will oatmilk change the sound of my voice?"
iFAQ illustration """Does drinking oatmilk change the sound of your voice?"" Short Version: Will oatmilk change the sound of my voice?"

If it did wouldn’t that be cool then to choose what your new voice sounded like? But it doesn’t, so, sorry. Oatmilk really involves the least amount of change possible.

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IFAQ Question "Can I still make fried milk on a stick with oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Can I still make fried milk on a stick with oatmilk?"

Assuming there is such a thing as fried milk on a stick (apparently there is), you can absolutely use oatmilk instead of cow milk since it’s basically a one-to-one swap. Except oatmilk has the added bonus of on average being better for the climate than cow milk, fried or not.

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IFAQ Question "If I try oatmilk, do I have to turn off lights when I leave the room?"
iFAQ illustration "If I try oatmilk, do I have to turn off lights when I leave the room?"

Um, if you want? Just switching to oatmilk from cow milk can lower your climate impact, any other stuff is really up to you.

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Remember those “The More You Know” PSAs on TV? This is similar, but printed on a website and it's about oatmilk’s climate impact. Which on average is less than cow milk's climate impact. Cue twinkly musical ending.
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IFAQ Question "Do I have to buy a recycled spoon to stir oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Do I have to buy a recycled spoon to stir oatmilk?"

Not really? A recycled spoon makes a decent pro-planet statement but it's more of a nice to have so maybe think about it next time you're cutlery shopping.

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IFAQ Question "Can I travel across state lines with oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Can I travel across state lines with oatmilk?"

If you are crossing state lines on foot or via car, scooter, plane, glider or recumbent bike, on a skateboard or hoverboard or boat then yes oatmilk can accompany you. If you are not crossing by one of those modes, oatmilk can still accompany you.

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IFAQ Question "If I plant some oatmilk will it grow into more oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "If I plant some oatmilk will it grow into more oatmilk?"

Stranger things have occurred but in all likelihood no.

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IFAQ Question "Do all my clothes have to be hemp to drink oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Do all my clothes have to be hemp to drink oatmilk?"

Good question but no. Not even some of your clothes. Although we'd never dissuade you from experimenting with a more plant-based lifestyle.

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IFAQ Question "How do I pay for oatmilk, with carbon credits?"
iFAQ illustration "How do I pay for oatmilk, with carbon credits?"

Honestly, whatever normal money you use to buy stuff is good, no need to go out of your way for oatmilk with exotic currencies or other fungible assets.

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If you’re a carbon offsets person, you might like to know that in general, oatmilk has a lower climate impact than cow milk, which could mean less offsetting for you to do, should you be offset-inclined.
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IFAQ Question "How many miles can I get from a carton of oatmilk?"
IFAQ Illustration "How many miles can I get from a carton of oatmilk?"

The NHTSA has yet to weigh in on this but if they did, they'd most certainly recommend never filling your car's gas tank with oatmilk and trying to drive it. Walking around with it is fine though.

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IFAQ Question "What is the height requirement for drinking oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "What is the height requirement for drinking oatmilk?"

The height requirement for drinking oatmilk is as follows: you have to be as tall or taller than the words in this sentence and if you are not this tall for whatever reason, that is also acceptable.

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IFAQ Question "If I try oatmilk, do I also have to try canning fruits?"
iFAQ illustration "If I try oatmilk, do I also have to try canning fruits?"

Yes and we're sorry, that's just the way it is. We wish you nothing but the best with your future canning endeavors.

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IFAQ Question "Do I need to charge oatmilk or plug it in to make it work?"
iFAQ illustration """Do I need to charge oatmilk or plug it in to make it work?"" "

Electric oatmilk is probably quite a ways off, so as of now there's no charging or electrification necessary for oatmilk to perform at peak oatmilkness.

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IFAQ Question "Does oatmilk float?"
iFAQ illustration "Does oatmilk float?"

This really depends on whether we're talking out-of-carton oatmilk or in-carton oatmilk, the density differentials between the oatmilk and what it's floating in as well as surrounding and oatmilk temperatures so let's parking lot this one for now, cool?

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IFAQ Question "Is Oatmilk approved by the Academy of American Poets?"
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Transparency is an extremely big deal to us as you know, so we'll say this: The Academy of American Poets has not not approved oatmilk, but they have approved us using their name in this Infrequently Asked Question, which is pretty cool of them.

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IFAQ Question "Does switching to oatmilk mean I have to go live in a tree?"
iFAQ illustration "Does switching to oatmilk mean I have to go live in a tree?"

Oatmilk would never ask you to make that big of a commitment, or any commitment really. That said, some trees are undeniably very appealing.

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Speaking of plants like trees and living and all that, if you want to reduce your climate impact you could switch to a plant-based diet, because on average, animal-based products have a higher climate impact than plant-based products. Something to think about while in your tree.
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IFAQ Question "If I leave home for the weekend, do I have to hire an oatmilk walker?"
iFAQ illustration "If I leave home for the weekend, do I have to hire an oatmilk walker?"

Just a sec while we think that through. Okay, you can if you want, as long as you manage your expectations. You could also consider hiring an oatmilk drinker while you're away, but we don't recommend it.

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IFAQ Question "Will oatmilk work with the regular glasses I drink out of now?"
iFAQ illustration "Will oatmilk work with the regular glasses I drink out of now?"

It will work, yes, and the drinking motion happens to be exactly the same as a non-oatmilk drinking motion, so you should be all set.

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IFAQ Question "Does oatmilk need a big touch screen to operate it?"
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Like what do you mean, to open it or to pour it? Either way, no. That would be kind of cool though, so, question noted.

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IFAQ Question "Which hand should I use for picking up oatmilk?"
iFAQ illustration "Which hand should I use for picking up oatmilk?"

Well, a majority of people are right-handed but that has zero relevance here so we’d say either hand you use most often to pick up any other milk? Oatmilk is hand-agnostic.

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IFAQ Question "How many oatmilks will it take me to help the environment?"
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Uh, one oatmilks. In general, even one oatmilks is better for the climate than one cow milks. But don't feel you have to limit yourself.

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One big goal we have is getting people to replace 2.9 billion liters of cow milk with oatmilk between 2019 & 2025, which could save the planet up to 2.5 million tons of climate-torching CO2e. Maybe you could be some of those people.
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IFAQ Question "What if I can't pronounce Oatly, do I have to know how?"
iFAQ illustration "What if I can't pronounce Oatly, do I have to know how?"

Thanks for asking and most certainly not. (Oh-t-lee) would never ask you to go through such trouble. Just pointing at the carton with a grunt is more than sufficient.

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IFAQ Question "How will I know if oatmilk is working?"
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You will know oatmilk is working because you're reading these words right now which say, "oatmilk has some really great health aspects like beta-glucans and some really great environmental aspects like on average having a lower climate impact than cow milk".

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IFAQ Question "Will oatmillk work with my coffee or do I have to buy special beans?"
iFAQ illustration "Will oatmillk work with my coffee or do I have to buy special beans?"

Far too much hassle and inconvenience sourcing special beans and who's to say which beans are special, so our answer is an unequivocal no. Oatmilk's a perfect swap for regular milk in any coffee, regardless of specialness.

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IFAQ Question "After I try oatmilk, am I done?"
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Done with that oatmilk try? Sure. Done with the carton, probably not? Done making a better choice for the climate than cow milk, kind of and kind of not, it's basically your call from here on out.

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